Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

viostormcaller:

vajeentambourine:

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Thank you thank you thank you bless this post ohmygod thank you

(via pinksrs)

illuminateslife:

klefable:

a moment of silence for all the internet friends who you lost track of years ago and still think about sometimes 

Originally posted by elmstreetgurl1428

Originally posted by allthegifgif

(via pinksrs)

astrodidact:

(via jun-soul)

29-pieces:

7faerielights:

solarpunk-gnome:

therealflurrin:

systlin:

dragginage:

tami-taylors-hair:

I was in line at Aldi and this girl with two toddlers in front of me had her card declined and she looked so fucking sad and said “let me call my husband real quick” and it was only 18 dollars, so I just paid for it, and she was very sweet and then as she walked off, the lady behind me said `”You know that was probably a scam, right?” and like, even if it was, like what a sad fucking scam, right? 18 dollars at the Aldi. If you’re “scamming” me for some Tyson chicken and apple juice and cauliflower, then just take my fucking money. 

“A scam” people are fucking wild.  

This happened to me, too. A woman had used WIC for the majority of her stuff (which I say from personal experience is such a long and embarrassing process) and to buy the remainder of her groceries, which included diapers and wipes, she used a card, and it got declined. I bought the other $30 of her groceries because hey, I’ve been there, and now I’m not. She was extremely emotional and began to cry and even hugged me. My mom called me on the drive home and could tell I had been crying myself, asked what was wrong, and when I told her what happened, she berated me for being “duped.” I couldn’t believe she could be so disappointed in one of her children for doing something- nice? Is that the hill you want to die on? Getting mad about people needing groceries?

I once paid for a woman’s bill at the vet…it wasn’t a big one, but she was trying to pay for some medication for her dog, and her card was declined. And her lip started trembling, and she says “I don’t get paid until Tuesday, would he be ok until then?” 

So I just told them to add the $20 something onto my bill, and I thought she was going to break down crying right there.

And I don’t care if it was a scam or not. Just do nice things for people sometimes. 

Do good recklessly.

I think “Do good recklessly” would be fantastic word art to hang on one’s wall. Artistic people, go!

So this has happened to me but from the other side. Several years ago when my oldest was around three or so, I had my debit card decline at Walmart. It wasn’t a scam or a mistake, I was genuinely broke. Out of money. I checked my bank and discovered I had something like 7 dollars left to my name and a hungry kid and nothing to eat at home. So I sat there trying to come up with the best way to stretch that tiny amount of money to feed my kid. Not even to feed me. I can live on popcorn or something if I have to but my kid was three and he had to eat. So there I am trying really hard not to cry while I slowly take things out of my basket to get it down to under 7 bucks, when a lady tapped me on the shoulder. I looked up and she smiled at me and started putting the things back in my cart. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn’t have the money for them but she stopped me right away and said “Don’t worry about it. It’s gonna be fine.” Then she handed the cashier her credit card and said “Ring up all of it.” My kid got to eat because of her. I got to eat because of her. I had laundry soap and deodorant because of her. She could’ve just ignored me silently struggling in that line. She could’ve decided I was a scam and gone home feeling good about avoiding being duped. But instead she chose to help me and she saved us. So maybe the person struggling in front of you is trying to put one over on you or maybe they are just sad and broke and trying to figure out what to do. You get to decide which you want to believe and what you want to do. But I’ll tell y’all, no one has ever been more beautiful to me than that lady in that line who saved me and my baby. Be like her. Be beautiful.

Do good recklessly

(via jun-soul)

runwithskizzers:

systlin:

rebelcaptain4life:

fempunkandkittens:

the-ford-twin:

etrogim:

wait….are any americans aware that the cia overthrew the democratically-elected premier of iran in 1953 because he wouldn’t concede to western oil demands….and how that coup was the reason for the shah’s return to power, the iranian revolution, and the resulting fundamentalist dictatorship…..like, america literally dissolved iranian democracy and no one knows about it???

No. No we don’t know about it. 

Americans aren’t told this shit. 

The only thing we’re taught about any Middle Eastern country in school is that 1) the region exists 2) it’s where The War is happening and 3) Muslim people live there. That’s it. Maybe if you’re lucky you’ll get into the Hammurabi Code and some early Babylonian stuff but American schools seem to think that if it happened outside Europe and before the colonial period, or makes America look bad and isn’t about A Very Watered Down Version of What Slavery Was, it’s not important.

Info on this is almost notoriously hard to find. It’s not in any texts on American and Russian involvement in the Middle East during the Cold War that I can find. You have to specifically look for a book about the Shah’s return to power, and even then you’d be hard pressed to find a book like that at your local bookstore. Once you get into some higher level college courses you might know about it, but the people who can afford those are more likely to already be indoctrinated into a certain Way of Thinking (read: they’re racist as shit) by the time they get there. And it’s almost like you have to know about it beforehand if you want to find information on it.

The only reason I knew about it is because there’s a thirty second summary of the event in Persepolis. Those thirty seconds flipped my entire worldview.

“All the Shah’s Men” by Stephen Kinzer is a good, accessible text for people who want to know more about this.

!!!

I had to explain literally this to one of my co-workers, who is so fuckin racist against Middle Eastern people it’s insane.

She’s 60. She never heard of this.

As I was explaining this and how, during the Regan years, we funded Osama Bin Laden to fight against Russia, leading to the destruction of much of the infrastructure in the region, one of the plant workers came in to get his badge fixed.

He works in the quality control lab. He served 15 years active duty in the Army. Super smart guy, has a masters in chemistry and another masters in biology, raises saltwater fish in his spare time for sale, has the saltwater aquarium setup of the gods.  Raises rare corals too, some of which he donates to be used in re-seeding reefs around the world, but that’s a side tangent.

And he listened for a minute, then nodded and said “Yeah. I was there during that. I helped train people to fight. They wanted us to help them build schools and hospitals, after, but we were only interested in them as cannon fodder. Left the whole area in ruins. I wasn’t surprised when they hated us for it later. Told people then it would happen. We let them know then that they were only valuable to America as expendable bodies. Why wouldn’t they resent us for that?”

And she just looked floored.

“So…” She started, after a few minutes. “What do you think of Trump?”

“I hate him. He’s a coward and he’s going to get good people killed.” He didn’t even blink. “

She looked back and forth between us for a second, and then asked how I knew all this.

“I research things.” I said. “Google is great.” He nodded enthusiastically.

And she just sat there for a second and then said, really quietly, “I didn’t know.”

She lived through it.

American schools don’t teach you any of this sort of thing.

(via dadbyul)

vmohlere:

cesperanza:

taraljc:

lone-star-multiple-moons:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

not-so-tall-gay-danny:

oneshortdamnfuse:

panacea-for-the-absent-soul:

ridersofdickhan:

mister-boss:

dannydevito-senpai:

dothepropaganda:

dothepropaganda:

punk isn’t just skinny. punk isn’t just perfect mohawks or aesthetically pleasing jackets. punk isn’t only listening to dead kennedys or black flag. punk is being an individual, having no respect for our fascist authority, sticking up for the little guy even if you are the little guy. punk isn’t just a look or a music scene.

i literally made this because nazis and the alt right can’t be punk

Stop bringing politics into music genres lmao

stop bringing politics…….. into punk????

Originally posted by desingyouruniverse

Here’s Green Day, one of the most popular and well known punk bands.

Originally posted by oneokidiot

Wait, but there’s MORE!

Originally posted by neaarty

Wait, in case you weren’t convinced that the punk scene is political and is all about standing up against fascism and bullshit and racism that America is facing:

Originally posted by geekgirl78

shut up. Punk is not just a fucking music genre.

Ok I’m reblogging this again bc when I went to see green day, before they properly started playing they made us make a pledge, at the gig there is to be ‘No racism, no sexism, no homophobia, no donald trump’

Punk has been political long before Green Day existed. The political history of the Punk scene(s) cannot be divorced from the music scene(s) that arose out of them. It is not just about music. It is not just about fashion. The stylistic choices made have meaning and are situated in a social/political context. 

That being said, it’s really important to acknowledge that Neo-Nazis didn’t infiltrate the Punk subculture for no reason. Absolutely, make it clear that Neo-Nazis are not welcome in The Punk Scene. However, part of doing that means confronting how they got there.

Punk music isn’t all about one political stance, though it’s commonly anti-authoritarian. Anyone can utilize the genre to promote their own ideologies, even if a popular intention of the genre is to be anti-authoritarian. Green Day is just one of many bands who use Punk music to spread their ideology. 

It’s not just punk. Music has been used as a form of rebellion against oppression for a hell of a long time. Fuck, centuries even. The people who don’t get this have most likely never been oppressed in their life.

A few protest/”political” songs, and some about specific tragedies, from recent history, that aren’t just punk:

Zombie, The Cranberries

I Know A Place, MUNA

99 Luftballons, Nena

Beds Are Burning, Midnight Oil

Khe Sahn, Cold Chisel

I Was Only Nineteen, Redgum

The Greatest, Sia

Fuck Tha Police , N.W.A

Eve of Destruction, Barry McGuire

We Are The World, USA for Africa

Say It Loud (I’m Black and I’m Proud), James Brown

Big Yellow Taxi, Joni Mitchell (or more recently, Counting Crows)

Born in the USA, Bruce Springsteen

Know Your Rights, The Clash

Holiday in Cambodia, Dead Kennedys

The Revolution Will Not Be Televised, Gil Scott Heron

We’ve been doing this shit forever, it’s not new. War, racism, fascism, homophobia… if it’s harmed people, it’s been put into music. It’s an incredibly powerful medium that has changed the world before, and to say that politics, hatred, and tragedy shouldn’t be featured is, honestly, simply ignorant.

I cannot deal with the sheer level of numbskull-ery in a statement like “Don’t bring politics into music” as if this is some Silly Tumblr Fad and not something that’s been a thing for over a hundred years

bard is a combat class

Hardcore kerbstomp Nazis. Like, since always.

http://talkingrock.net/2018/10/joe-keithley-of-d-o-a-elected-to-office/

Seems like a good place to note that Joe Keithley aka Joe Shithead who was one of the models for Hard Core Logo’s Joe Dick has just been elected to office in Canada as a member of the Green Party. :D

bard is a combat class

(via pinksrs)

folks it is with great pleasure i announce that 19 years after Y2K we are 19 years away from more potential bullshit

communismed:

wunkolo:

grawly:

It took Java over 19 years to realize “hey maybe we should allow unsigned integers”

Y2K…….

2!!!

(via pinksrs)